You were raised on Disney. Love at first sight. The prince and princess live happily ever after. You held that vision in your head, and that dream turned into a reality, or so you thought.

You followed the natural progression of dating, getting engaged, married, and having children. But your version of happily ever after quickly turned into screaming, yelling, fighting, and crying.

This isn’t what you imagined for yourself, your partner, or your children. No matter what age your children are, this topic of conversation doesn’t get any easier.

Here’s how to talk to your kids about divorce.

Keep It Simple

No matter what age range your children are when you and your partner decide to get a divorce, the messaging should still be the same: simple and clear. You and your partner should sit your child or children down together and explain the divorce in a calm way. Make sure you both are on the same page before going into the conversation. That means you have to put your differences aside and come together for your child. You both want what’s best for them, and that means coming together to be there for them.

Lay Out Some of the Details

It’s important to stress to your children that you and your partner will both be happier with this change. Make sure your children are aware that this will really only change their living arrangements. Instead of one home, they’ll now have two homes. Confirm to your children that both of you will still be a huge part of their lives. You will both be there for them whenever they need it and see them on a regular basis.

Make Sure They Know It Isn’t Their Fault

Many children may feel like it was their fault. It’s important to be clear and direct with them. You don’t have to give them all of the details of the divorce, but make sure they know this has nothing to do with them and it wasn’t an easy decision to make, but it's for whats best for you, your partner, and your family. When you’re breaking the news to your children, try to leave out any unnecessary details that may leave your children feeling like they can or need to fix something.

Let Them React and Ask Questions

Pay attention to how your children react to the news while you’re speaking to them. Make sure you are allowing them to react, express how they’re feeling, and that they feel comfortable to ask their own questions relating to the divorce. Here are a few of the different questions you can prepare for:

• Is this my fault?

• Can I do anything to change this?

• Will you get back together if I do my chores?

• Will you still love me even if we don’t live together anymore?

• How often will I see you?

• Do we have to move?

• Will I have to change schools?

• Is money an issue?

• Who’s going to take care of me?

Next Steps

Divorce is never an easy decision, and the conversation can be even harder. Even when you and your partner are on the same page with wanting a divorce, breaking the news to your children may seem like a more daunting task. Although any type of change is hard, especially divorce, it can be what’s best for you, your partner, and your family.

The fact that you’re taking the time to read a blog about how to talk to your children about divorce proves that you want what’s best for you and your family. If you’re interested in learning more about talking through challenging times, reach out to us today for a consultation.