You were raised on Disney. Love at first sight. The prince and princess live happily ever after. You held that vision in your head, and that dream turned into a reality, or so you thought.

You followed the natural progression of dating, getting engaged, married, and having children. But your version of happily ever after quickly turned into screaming, yelling, fighting, and crying.

This isn’t what you imagined for yourself, your partner, or your children. No matter what age your children are, this topic of conversation doesn’t get any easier.

Here’s how to talk to your kids about divorce.

Keep It Simple

No matter what age range your children are when you and your partner decide to get a divorce, the messaging should still be the same: simple and clear. You and your partner should sit your child or children down together and explain the divorce in a calm way. Make sure you both are on the same page before going into the conversation. That means you have to put your differences aside and come together for your child. You both want what’s best for them, and that means coming together to be there for them.

Lay Out Some of the Details

It’s important to stress to your children that you and your partner will both be happier with this change. Make sure your children are aware that this will really only change their living arrangements. Instead of one home, they’ll now have two homes. Confirm to your children that both of you will still be a huge part of their lives. You will both be there for them whenever they need it and see them on a regular basis.

Make Sure They Know It Isn’t Their Fault

Many children may feel like it was their fault. It’s important to be clear and direct with them. You don’t have to give them all of the details of the divorce, but make sure they know this has nothing to do with them and it wasn’t an easy decision to make, but it's for whats best for you, your partner, and your family. When you’re breaking the news to your children, try to leave out any unnecessary details that may leave your children feeling like they can or need to fix something.

Let Them React and Ask Questions

Pay attention to how your children react to the news while you’re speaking to them. Make sure you are allowing them to react, express how they’re feeling, and that they feel comfortable to ask their own questions relating to the divorce. Here are a few of the different questions you can prepare for:

• Is this my fault?

• Can I do anything to change this?

• Will you get back together if I do my chores?

• Will you still love me even if we don’t live together anymore?

• How often will I see you?

• Do we have to move?

• Will I have to change schools?

• Is money an issue?

• Who’s going to take care of me?

Next Steps

Divorce is never an easy decision, and the conversation can be even harder. Even when you and your partner are on the same page with wanting a divorce, breaking the news to your children may seem like a more daunting task. Although any type of change is hard, especially divorce, it can be what’s best for you, your partner, and your family.

The fact that you’re taking the time to read a blog about how to talk to your children about divorce proves that you want what’s best for you and your family. If you’re interested in learning more about talking through challenging times, reach out to us today for a consultation.

Attraction in a relationship is often thought of as something that happens naturally in the beginning stages of romance. The excitement of getting to know someone new and the thrill of being desired all create a powerful spark of attraction.

However, as time goes on, and you start to become familiar with one another, the initial fire begins to fade. For many couples, this leads to a sense of disconnection and fear that the relationship is losing its passion. It’s normal for attraction to come and go, but the good news is that when it’s gone, it does not have to be gone forever. With the right approach, you can reignite this spark! But how?

Prioritize Emotional Intimacy

A lot of times when we think of intimacy, we think of the physical attraction between partners. Emotional intimacy, however, plays more of a role in maintaining attraction. When couples prioritize emotional intimacy, they are more likely to:

• Make time for more meaningful conversations.

• Be vulnerable and open with thoughts and feelings.

• Actively listen and empathize with each other.

• Have more safe spaces for emotional expression and understanding.

When you prioritize emotional closeness, you may find that the attraction between you naturally intensifies.

Maintain Physical Connection

Physical touch is a powerful way to reignite attraction. This doesn’t just mean sexual intimacy, although that is important as well.

• Incorporate daily non-sexual touches, like hugs and hand-holding.

• Use physical gestures, such as cuddling, to build closeness.

• Prioritize regular sexual intimacy while also focusing on non-sexual affection.

Research has shown that physical touches release oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” which enhances feelings of closeness and attraction.

Rediscover Your Individuality

When couples have been together a long time, it’s easy to fall into a routine where you feel you’ve lost a part of your personal identity. Take time to rediscover yourself as an individual by:

• Pursuing hobbies and interests that excite you.

• Spending time apart to rediscover personal passions.

• Bringing these new experiences and energies back into the relationship.

Confidence and passion are magnetic, and when you’re engaged with your own life, you’ll rekindle your partner’s desire of their own.

Try New Experiences

Routine can be comforting, but it can also lead to a sense of monotony in a relationship. To reignite attraction, try:

• Breaking out of usual patterns and introducing new experiences.

• Traveling, engaging in a joint hobby, or trying new date spots to keep things fresh and exciting.

• Exploring shared interests and engaging in something new each week.

Sharing new experiences strengthens your bond and reminds you both of why you fell in love in the first place.

Communicate Your Desires and Fantasies

Attraction thrives on honest communication, especially when it comes to physical intimacy. Over time, partners can just assume they know what each other wants.

• Discuss what excites you and ask your partner about their desires.

• Be willing to explore each other’s fantasies to create a new level of intimacy.

• Talking about these desires can feel highly stimulating, reminding you both of the excitement you once shared.

Desires and fantasies evolve over time, so it’s important to have regular check-ins about what these are.

Seek Professional Help

Couples counseling can be a great resource for sustaining attraction, especially when communication has been an ongoing issue in the relationship. Couples counseling can:

• Facilitate deeper communication by learning to express thoughts and emotions.

• Identify destructive behavioral patterns that may be breaking down attraction and learning to break these patterns.

• Explore unmet needs in the relationship and work on fulfilling your partner’s desires.

• Rebuild trust that has been broken or lost throughout time.

Sometimes, reigniting this spark needs a little help. That’s okay! It does not mean the relationship is doomed. If you and your partner are struggling with attraction, schedule a couples session and rebuild this attraction today!