IFS Therapy | Denver, Colorado | Denver Latino Counseling

What is IFS?

IFS, which stands for Internal Family Systems, is a model of therapy that considers the mind to be made up of many different parts, each of which serves a different function. Just like a family is composed of many different members, each with their own distinct personality, so is the self. And each part of the self has its own unique intentions, needs, and desires.

In many ways, the language of “parts” is something that everyone is familiar with, even if they don’t know about IFS. In everyday speech, we often say things like, “Part of me wants X, but another part wants Y.” For instance, let’s say you’re feeling sad and you decide to have some dessert to soothe your emotions. Part of you says, “Having that slice of cake will cheer you up,” while another part says, “How shameful that you ate that cake! Don’t you know that it’s bad for you?”

Another example involves being in an elevator with a stranger. Part of you says to start a conversation, but another part says that it’s not worth it. When you get off the elevator, your inner critic might tell you: “You missed an opportunity to make a new connection.” In this way, all of us have competing voices in our heads that vie for our attention. We may have an inner critic who tries to tell us what we did wrong, and we may have an inner child who feels hurt and unlovable. The goal of IFS is to befriend all of your parts, because the more your parts feel understood and listened to, the more they will relax and let you react with an open heart. You can experience balance and harmony in your mind, emotions, and relationships.

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IFS therapy was founded by Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s. It is used to treat a wide variety of psychological wounds and mental health conditions and can be applied in therapy with individuals, couples, and families. In the National Registry for Evidence-Based Programs & Practices (NREPP), IFS is listed as an evidence-based practice (1) and it has been shown to help with trauma, depression, and many other mental health concerns (2). Since completing different trainings in IFS and incorporating the approach into my practice, I’ve seen it work wonders in the lives of adults, children, couples, and families. IFS has given me a framework for tackling many problems, including anxiety, depression, relationship issues, eating disorders, addiction, and body image issues.

The great thing about IFS is that it allows clients to go deeper than most therapeutic approaches and engage with every part of themselves. With most forms of therapy, it’s hard to work through various traumas and past hurts because the mind and body naturally work to protect themselves from painful memories and emotions. IFS allows us to engage with these protective parts. It helps us access memories, emotions, and beliefs that were previously locked away, leading to fuller and deeper healing.

At the beginning of a session, clients generally start by talking about a frustrating or stressful situation. We explore how that situation makes them feel, trying to identify a protective part. For example, maybe you come in feeling anxious because you have to give a presentation at work. When you were younger, perhaps you had a bad experience at school; you were ridiculed in front of others and received messages that you were not good enough, and this made you nervous when facing new work projects or presentations as an adult. In this way, a protective “part” of your personality has developed to shield you from the shame and embarrassment you once felt.

Together, we’ll begin a dialogue with this protective part, asking: What is this part trying to tell you? How long has it been with you? What would happen if it wasn’t there to alert you to danger? How would your life be different? The goal is not to force answers out of this process but to let the part of you show up in an organic way. We want to approach it with curiosity and

compassion, understanding that it has come about for a reason. We want to befriend the part, not fight it or get rid of it.

After all, the function of a protective part is to keep old wounds from resurfacing. It’s to prevent you from reexperiencing the pain of past trauma and suffering. In IFS, we’re simply focusing on the fact that things are different now, so you don’t have to continue living in protective mode. What we’re doing is updating your system to reflect the changes in your life. If a past relationship taught you to hide certain aspects of who you are, IFS seeks to help you understand that you’re safe now and you don’t have to keep hiding.

As we work through the pain of the past, you and I will also come up with emotional regulation
skills so that you don’t dissociate or feel triggered by trauma. That’s why I often utilize EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing), which uses bilateral stimulation techniques to
reduce the aftereffects of trauma. By incorporating both EMDR and IFS into my trauma- informed approach, I believe that you can engage with the past from an emotionally safe place and live a more grounded and centered life.

We all have everything we need within us to heal, feel safe, and realize we are lovable and protected. IFS taps into this inner potential for healing and safety, activating our strengths and helping us connect with our true essence. It can teach us more about who we are, what we want out of life, and what parts of us might be unknowingly holding us back from achieving the life we want.

What’s more, this process of deepening our self-awareness can help us increase our self-leadership. We can achieve a healthier internal balance and reduce the intensity of our emotional reactions. Instead of letting our protective parts make decisions for us, we can regain leadership and engage in a constructive dialogue with them in daily life. This allows us to unburden trauma, access our self-energy, and form deeply satisfying relationships with ourselves and others.

As an IFS therapist, I believe that I can help you work through the pain of the past and establish a more harmonious relationship with all of your parts. To begin the healing process, you can call or text me at 720-276-9188 or use the contact form to book an appointment. I look forward to hearing from you!